One of These Things is Not Like the Others
by Nake Suzumushi
Summary: When our brave hero wakes up inside of Hawke's body, he realizes that life hadn't really prepared him for Dragon-slaying, and that he really misses carbonated beverages.
1. Chapter 1

AN: So I've been lurking on this sight for ages now (see what I did there) and I've decided to try my hand at writing my own piece of work. Don't know if it's any good but I'm gonna put it up anyways. I might continue it if anybody cares, to be honest I'll probably continue it anyways but I'd really appreciate the feedback nonetheless. So on with my possibly terrible story.

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Age or Ike for that matter, just using 'em to serve my twisted purposes.

Patrick was certain of a few things as he entered into a state a wakefulness. He knew that his head was pounding and that he was definitely not a fan of it. He knew that his arm was throbbing because of a currently unidentified reason. He knew that these reasons did not put him in the best of moods as he rejoined the world of the living.

And he knew that he was definitely _not_ in his apartment.

He let out a pained groan as he sat up, propping himself up with his good arm. His head wasn't particularly happy about this choice of movement and decided to make its opinion known, the bastard. As he became more aware, Patrick started to take in more notes about his current surroundings. He felt the salty tang in the air and heard the dull roar in the distance that suggested a large body of salt water lied nearby. Before he could really take much of his surroundings in he heard a voice calling out.

"Hawke!" it cried. Patrick turned his head towards the source of it and was shocked by what he saw. There was no way it could be who he thought it was, he must be going crazy. But as Patrick examined the person more the evidence mounted up against him. Robes he always thought were pretty stylish? Check. Golden blonde hair? Check. Scraggly shadow of a beard? Check. Staff? Check.

Anders wasn't real, he was a character in a video game. Patrick must be dreaming! Yes, that explains everything. If this was it dream it was going to be fucking awesome so Patrick decided to just roll with it. Anders kneeled down beside Patrick and began to look him over.

"Are you alright? You took quite a hit there, Hawke."

"Uh, yeah I guess I'm alright." Patrick hesitated a bit before answering. "My head and my arm are throbbing though." Patrick was caught off guard as he spoke. The voice that he spoke with definitely did not belong to him, but he adjusted quickly. He wondered what sorts of awesome adventures he would get into during this dream. Maybe they'd fight a high dragon! Or maybe he'd get to ride into battle on a griffon! This was his dream, he could un-extinct those right? Yeah, he was sure of it.

"Show me the arm." Anders was speaking again so Patrick broke out of his daydream. He complied and raised the arm that had been troubling him. There was a long gash that ran the length of it. So that explains it! No wonder his arm was hurting as bad as it was.

"That bandit got you pretty good, didn't he Hawke? I'll have you healed in a bit." Anders raised his hand over the wound and a glow soon encompassed it. A pleasant sensation soon glided over the wound on Patrick's arm. His eyes widened yet again, it seemed he'd be having a lot of surprises in the near future. So this was magic! Damn, it was so cool. Patrick was busy admiring the glow when suddenly Anders had jumped to his feet, his staff appearing in his hand like lightning. A blue glow encompassed his eyes, the telltale sign that Justice had tagged in.

"You are not Hawke!" he bellowed. "What manner of demon are you?" Patrick had finished his fair share of Dragon Age playthroughs, so he knew that when Justice popped up things ended poorly. He scrambled to his feet and held his hands out in a placating gesture.

"Whoa! Easy there buddy, I'm not a demon." Patrick is not afraid to admit that he was scared shitless as fire appeared in Justice-slash-Anders' hand. Man, that is a mouthful. Patrick needed something shorter to call them. Janders! That would work. Damn, was he clever. Two figures appeared at Janders' side. A lyrium marked elf with snow white hair and a cute dalish elf with vallaslin. Whoa, this was trippy. Fenris had his giant sword in hand and Merrill had her staff at the ready. Patrick guessed they'd heard Janders shout and came running, expecting a fight. He wasn't even fazed by the appearance of more fantasy characters, he was dreaming after all. Wait, he was dreaming! Of course! Janders couldn't hurt him in a dream!

"What is happening, abomination? Why are you yelling?" Fenris scanned the area, looking for the source of Janders' agitation.

"A demon has possessed Hawke!" Janders was raging at this point and was probably a few seconds away from lobbing that fireball. But with an enraged spirit-man about to set him on fire, Patrick relaxed and he laughed. He shot a cheeky grin at the trio as he became more confident.

"You can't hurt me. I'm dreaming. I am your ruler!" He gave his best impersonation of an evil ruler's laugh as he raised his arms wide. "Nothing can touch me! I am invincible!" Janders and the crew looked incredibly confused but Janders was still in a rage and wouldn't be stopping soon.

"What sort of nonsense are you speaking, demon? You will leave Hawke's body or be destroyed!" Patrick stopped his impersonation and adopted a look of annoyance.

"I told you Blue, I am not a demon. Man, if I spend this whole dream arguing with the ten time tag-team champions I am going to be so pissed. Can we hurry this along? I wanna get to the epic adventure part." The Super Blue Bros. looked even more confused.

"What do you mean you're dreaming? You can't be dreaming. You just woke up here on the coast. We were attacked by bandits. One of them bashed you with his shield, you knocked your head against a rock and passed out." Merrill had taken the opportunity to make her presence known and was babbling in that way that Patrick always found incredibly endearing.

"I have to be dreaming, you're all video game characters! You can't be real." He raised his hand and pointed at Fenris. "You aren't really an escaped slave." His hand panned over to Janders. "You aren't really a spirit possessing Anders' body." His finger landed on Merrill last. "And you aren't an elvish blood mage. It's all fake." Confusion seemed to have momentarily stunned Janders but he managed to pick back up on his rage. Damn, is he persistent or what?

"You speak nonsense demon, but your tricks will not work on me! Prepared to be destroyed!"

"What are you talking about abomination? Hawke is no mage."

"I sensed it when I healed him!" Janders was bellowing again. It seems like that's the only tone of voice Janders can manage. "He did not feel like Hawke! He felt different!"

"What?" Merrill cried stepping towards Patrick. He really did love her accent. Down, boy! Now is not the time to admire the pretty elf! She reached her hands out towards him and closed her eyes. A glow encompassed her outstretched hands. Damn, he couldn't get over how fucking cool magic was. Before long Merrill stepped back with a gasp. "He really isn't Hawke!"

"See? We must destroy the demon!" Sheesh Janders, can't you chill out just for five seconds?

"He isn't a demon either though, he felt different. He felt like a human, just not like Hawke." Ah, lovely Merrill coming to his defense. A true hero. Fenris wasn't looking very happy and a sneer appeared on his lips.

"What manner of magic is this?" His markings were glowing in agitation and he looked like he was prepared to rip Patrick's heart out of his chest. Well, technically it was Hawke's chest. "What have you done to Hawke?"

"I didn't do anything to Hawke!" Patrick was quick to defend himself. "I thought this was going to be a sweet dream but so far I've been disappointed." The blue glow left Anders' eyes. Guess he had managed to subdue Justice.

"Is that what you think's going on?" Anders asked in a far more reasonable tone than his counterpart. "You think you're dreaming?"

"Well, yeah of course. How else would I explain this? In fact," he turned to Merrill, "I want you to hit me."

"H-hit you?" She stammered.

"Yeah, I'm sure I'll wake up if you do. Smack me across the face, don't hold back."

"I-I don't know if-"

"Just do it, I'm growing tired of this."

"I-if you insist." She brought her hand back and slapped Patrick across the face. His whole head turned to the side and he had to take a step back to keep his balance. He shot his hand up to where Merrill struck him, rubbing the sore spot.

"Ow! Holy shit, you hit hard for a dainty elf!" He looked around and noticed that he still wasn't in his apartment. "Why haven't I woken up?" He was starting to panic now. He turned his gaze to Merrill. "Why haven't I woken up?" He directed his question at her. Her gaze softened as she noticed his panicked expression.

"You haven't woken up because you aren't dreaming." She said in a calm voice as if to sooth him. It didn't work. He was pacing back and forth and running his hands through his, I mean Hawke's hair.

"How could this have happened?" Fenris piped up from beside Anders. He had put the gigantic sword away and he wasn't glowing anymore so Patrick took that as a good sign.

"I don't know any magic that can transfer minds." Anders said with a hand on his chin and if pondering the matter. He and Fenris looked at Merrill with a question in their eyes. Merrill seemed to jump at their combined stare and looked uncomfortable.

"I-I didn't do this." She stammered. "I don't know any spells that can do this. The keeper might know of something like this, but I've never heard of anything like it. Maybe we could ask her?" She was babbling again and Patrick let a small smile appear on his face.

"If you are not Hawke then who are you?" Fenris asked, cocking an eyebrow. Patrick was about to answer with his real name but then it dawned on him. He was in a new world, he could become a new person. He didn't have to be some lame college student anymore. He could become a great hero! He searched his mind for a suitable name, he wanted something epic. The perfect name dawned on him and his smile widened and became a massive grin.

"You can call me Ike. I come from a different world in a country called America." Of course! The Radiant Hero, leader of the Greil Mercenaries, wielder of the divine blade Ragnell, and his main in Smash Brothers. What better name could he ask for? He knew he wasn't going to be able to resist running around shouting 'Aether!'

"We will call you Ike, then." Fenris said, as he nodded his head at Patr-, er, Ike. That would take a bit to get used to.

"You say you aren't from this world then, can you tell us about your world? What's it like in America?" Merrill asked looking like she was about to burst from excitement.

"It's very different from here. I don't mind telling you but, maybe we could head back to the Hanged Man, I'm sure Varric is going to love this." Patrick said with a smile. He couldn't help it! Merrill's good mood was infectious. Fenris on the other hand narrowed his eyes in suspicion.

"You say you aren't Hawke but you know who we are, who Varric is, and about the Hanged Man?"

"That's part of the long story, Fenris, just trust me for now okay? I promise I'll explain everything when we get back to Kirkwall." Fenris seemed to contemplate this for a second but then he nodded but he still looked suspicious. Merrill was the exact opposite looking like she was about to start jumping up and down from excitement. It was cute how eager she was to learn about his world.

"Well I guess we should go then. I certainly need a drink." Anders said wearily. He began to walk along the path. Wait, Ike remembered this path! It's on the Wounded Coast! That explains the whole ocean thing. The rest of the group walked along behind Anders as he led the way back to Kirkwall. Merrill assaulted Ike with questions as they walked but he answered with 'Wait until we get back.' Everybody seemed to have been rather okay with the whole 'Hawke is gone and is now called Ike thing.' Eh, maybe he'll ask Varric about it.

Ike used walked in silence deep in was an entirely new person now. He was called Ike, he lived in Thedas, and he had Hawke's body. He was soon going to face dragons, demons, and unnatural horrors. He was scared out of his mind, but beneath that there was an undercurrent of excitement.

Things were about to get _really_ interesting.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Here I am, back for round two. Again, any and all feedback would be greatly appreciated, I'd really like to know if anybody is actually reading this thing.

Disclaimer: I don't own nothin' yo.

Ah, the Hanged Man. Everybody's favorite pool of depravity. Man this place absolutely _reeked._ That was one thing Ike had never thought about whilst playing Dragon Age. He never thought about how bad everybody here must stink. They didn't have showers and a lot of people probably didn't have access to a bath and soap. Ike was really going to miss showers. He wondered if Hawke had soap, man he hoped so. Maybe he'd be able to sweet talk Varric into getting him something to clean himself with. Also a bath, that would be an important part of the process.

Ike and company had entered the front door and were making their way to Varric's room. Ike tossed Corff a wave and he nodded in return. Ike had always thought that Corff was a cool guy. He wished that Corff had been a bigger part of the game. Maybe he'd buy him a drink later.

"I'll buy us a round." Anders said, moving towards the bar. Ike and his favorite elves trekked up the familiar set of stairs and into Varric's room. The dwarf himself was seated at the table writing on a piece of paper, probably composing an epic ballad or something of the like. When the dwarf noticed them he stopped writing and shot them his trademark grin.

"Ah, if it isn't Hawke, Elf, and Daisy. What can I do for you?"

"We've got a story to tell you. You should probably get out another piece of paper because you are definitely going to want to write this down." Ike answered, taking a seat at Varric's table.

"Oh? Do tell."

"Hawke is not Hawke." Fenris answered in his familiar drawl. He and Merrill had also taken seats at the table and Fenris made a point of sitting as far away from Merrill as possible. Ike liked Fenris, but sometimes he could really get annoying with the whole 'every mage must die!' thing. Varric's face twisted into a look of confusion.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, dwarf." Fenris was apparently not very keen on explanation. Ike sighed and rested his face in his hand.

"It's true. I'm not Hawke. I just kinda woke up here inside of Hawke's body." Ike shrugged his shoulders, he knew it was a lame explanation, but it was a true lame explanation. Merrill at this point just couldn't contain herself anymore and decided to pipe in.

"He says he's from a different world, somewhere called America, whatever that is." Glad to know that the long trip from the Wounded Coast to the Hanged Man didn't do much to dull Merrill's enthusiasm. Varric on the other hand shifted his gaze between the three.

"You're serious?" Varric asked, sounding more than a little bit skeptical.

"I do not lie, dwarf." Fenris decided to answer him. Anders chose this excellent moment to arrive with the drinks and set a tankard in front of everybody.

"What makes you think that Hawke hasn't just finally lost his mind?" Varric was understandably slow to accept that Hawke suddenly stopped being Hawke and was now somebody from a different world.

"We checked. He felt entirely different from Hawke, I noticed it while I was healing him." Anders was speaking now. "I thought it was a demon at first, but Merrill checked and decided it wasn't."

"He was one offer of power away from setting me on fire." Ike said, raising his hand and gesturing towards Anders. The blonde mage at least had the dignity to look sheepish.

"Yeah, sorry about that by the way." Ike just waved him off and glanced down at the drink that had been placed in front of him. He took a tentative sniff and wrinkled his nose. Varric bellowed with laughter.

"That confirms it, you are definitely not Hawke. He loved his drinks," Varric explained. There was something fishy going on here. Ike narrowed his eyes in suspicion and glanced around the table.

"You guys seem awfully okay with that fact that Hawke is gone." The table around Ike adopted similar looks of distaste. Well, this is certainly going to be interesting.. Varric decided to speak up with explanation.

"We didn't keep him around for his personality. We needed help funding our expedition and he had developed a name for himself. We decided we could use his help." Oh yeah! The expedition! Ike wondered how much gold Hawke had collected. Maybe Varric would still let Ike partner with the expedition. He _was_ Hawke after all. Fenris was the next to speak up about Hawke.

"I owed him a debt, that is the only reason I endured his company." Was Hawke really that bad a guy?

"He was always mean and yelling at people, I didn't really like him. He always looked like he was mad at something, I wonder if he ever smiled?" Wow, even Merrill didn't like him. Sheesh, he sounds like a total asshole.

"He threatened to expose me to the templars if I didn't help him." Ike's eyes were practically bugging out of his skull at this point. He did _what_ now? Threatening Anders with templars? Ike didn't even feel guilty for taking his body anymore. Good riddance.

"Well anyways enough about Hawke. I am Varric Tethras, at your service." Varric's grin was back and he extended a hand out towards Ike. He clasped it and smiled back.

"I know who you are. You can call me Ike." Fenris set down his drink and narrowed his eyes at Ike again. He opened his mouth to speak.

"Yes, care to explain how you seem to be familiar with all of us?" Anders and Merrill also looked over in interest.

"You said something about a video game. What is that anyways?" Merrill asked. Ike thought about it for a second, how _would_ he explain video games to these people. Ike decided that he would give it a shot.

"Well a video game is an, er, window I guess you could say. It lets people gaze into other worlds and have a limited interaction with them. I've gazed into Thedas a lot, it's one of my favorite places to go. That's how I'm familiar with you all." There, that's as good an explanation as any. Fenris didn't look particularly pleased with this explanation, though.

"That sounds like an old, forbidden magic," Fenris snarled. If his markings started to glow then Ike was going to bolt. Ike, though, let out a short laugh.

"I assure you Fenris, it isn't magic. We don't actually have magic in our world." Fenris' eyes widened in shock. Yeah, Ike thought he'd like that one.

"A world without magic? This sounds like a place that I would like to visit." He seemed quiet then, as if contemplating it. Merrill though seemed to have one more question.

"Back before when you thought you were dreaming you said that we couldn't be real because we were characters in a video game. Why wouldn't we be real?" she asked. Yes, Ike had said that, hadn't he?

"Well, I thought you weren't real because some of the worlds that we gaze into aren't real. They're just imaginary. I thought that Thedas was imaginary too, but obviously," he made a gesture to all of them, "That isn't the case." The room was quiet and Ike used the lull in conversation to focus back on his drink. He raised his cup and took a tentative sip. _Christ, that burns!_ His eyes started to water and he ended up coughing a little bit. Varric started laughing and the rest of the room looked amused.

"Can't hold your drink?" Varric asked, sounding incredibly amused with the situation. Ike shook his head.

"In my world you aren't allowed to drink alcohol until you reach a certain age, I was almost there, just not quite. I've never had alcohol. Don't know how you people drink this stuff." Ike set his cup down with a look of distaste. Varric just laughed once again, the bastard was way too pleased with the situation.

"It's an acquired taste, it gets better. Trust me," he said. Merrill reached over and placed a consoling hand on Ike's shoulder.

"Don't feel bad. I don't like it either," she said. Ike glanced at her with a smile. She was just too sweet! Who needed alcohol anyways? Ike turned his head back around to look at Varric.

"Say, Varric, I can still partner for the expedition right? I _am_ Hawke, after all," Ike asked. Varric turned to Ike with a look of surprise before his usual grin appeared on his face.

"Oh course! As long as you bring fifty sovereigns we'd be happy to have you. Hawke kept his money in a chest in his room here at the Hanged Man, I'm sure he had the key on him. He also kept a journal in case you'd like to look in any of his other jobs that he had lined up. Say what you will about the man but at least he was organized." Ike was surprised. Hawke had a room here? That definitely wasn't in Dragon Age.

"I thought he lived with Gamlen and his family," Ike asked, tilting his head to the side a bit. Varric glanced at Ike with a raised eyebrow.

"He couldn't stand it there so he rents a room here. Didn't you say you were familiar with this stuff?" Ike just shrugged and opened his mouth to speak.

"I guess there's some slight differences," Ike answered. He wondered what else was different. Ike suddenly had a realization and his eyes shot wide open as a chill ran down his spine. How in the _fuck_ would ever explain this to Hawke's family? That is an awkward conversation that Ike was going to avoid for as long as possible.

Eventually, Anders stood up and stretched. "I'm going to head back to the clinic, it's getting late," he said. Anders let out a little wave as he walked out of the room. "See you all tomorrow," he said, and then he was gone. After he left Merrill let out a yawn.

"Going home sounds like a good idea." She stood up as if to leave. Ike didn't want her to go. He wanted to stay with her longer! He stood up with her and shot her a smile.

"I'll walk you home, Lowtown isn't the safest place to be after dark," he said. Merrill looked surprised for a second but then she shot him back a smile.

"That would be nice," she said softly. Was it just Ike or was she blushing? Damnit she was just too cute! Before they left, though, Ike turned to Fenris.

"Fenris, I noticed that Hawke uses two-handed weapons like you," he said, moving a hand back to pat the hilt of the blade that extended past his right shoulder. "Though I have no idea how to use it, I was wondering if you could give me lessons?" Fenris looked up and him and nodded.

"Of course. Come to the mansion early tomorrow and we'll begin your lessons," he answered. Ike nodded and smiled at Fenris. Satisfied, he turned back to Merrill and extended a hand towards the door.

"After you," he said with a smile. Merrill walked out of Varric's room and Ike followed dutifully behind her. Together, they walked out of the Hanged Man and into the cool night air. He followed her through the familiar streets of Lowtown as they made their way to the alienage. Men leered at her as she passed and Ike shot all of them glares. He was not a fan of the looks she was getting, not at all. Eventually he quickened his pace a bit to walk beside her and wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders. She jumped a bit and looked up at him but didn't say anything. Eventually she turned her attention back to navigating through Lowtown. Was it Ike's imagination or was she smiling when she looked away from him? Ike turned his attention back to scouting the shadows for trouble.

A small group of three humans broke themselves away from the shadows and made their way towards the duo. Oh great, here we go. Ike tried to keep walking but the men stepped in front of their path.

"That's a pretty elf you got there," the man in the middle said, leering at Merrill. Ike guessed he must have been their self-appointed leader. He reeked of alcohol. Great, they were drunk, perfect. Ike took a step forward and shot the trio a glare.

"I would appreciate it if you would get out of our way." The looks they were giving Merrill were really testing his patience.

"Ah, I was hoping we could share her. You can't keep a pretty little thing like that to yourself." Oh, that was it. The thought of what they wanted to do to Merrill was enough to shatter his patience. Ike reached a hand back and gripped onto the hilt of his greatsword. He would have never been able to lift it if it wasn't for Hawke's body. He pressed the sword to the leader's throat and gave him a glare that he hoped conveyed all of his murderous thoughts.

"I said _move_ before I redecorate Lowtown with your entrails," he snarled. Okay, it was a bit harsh, but he was just trying to scare these guys off. Fortunately the group was smart enough not to mess with the angry guy with the giant sword and departed. Ike sighed and secured the sword on his back again. He turned back to Merrill with a sheepish smile. "Sorry," he said, "They just really made me angry." Merrill looked surprised but then quickly waved her arms at him.

"No, no, thank you! They always harass me but they never actually do anything. It's okay, I can turn them all to toads if they do!" she rubbed the back of her head, "They do get annoying sometimes, though." Ike was not pleased with this new information.

"They do that all the time?" he asked. Merrill nodded. Ike rested his face in his hand and sighed before looking back up at Merrill with a smile. "Woman, I am never letting you walk home alone again," he said, before wrapping his arm back around her shoulders. She giggled and they resumed their trek through Lowtown. The rest of the walk was uneventful and soon they were standing in front of Merrill's home. She stared at the ground looking sheepish before glancing back up at Ike.

"You'll visit won't you? I already asked Hawke and he said no but you're not Hawke so I decided that I would ask." She was playing with her hands and looking embarrassed. Ike couldn't help but smile as he replied.

"Of course! I'll visit whenever I can." Merrill smiled up at him, looking pleased. She moved towards her front door but turned at the last second and shot Ike an enthusiastic wave.

"Goodnight!" she called. Ike raised his own hand in a wave.

"Goodnight," he called back. She smiled and shut the door. Ike turned and began the trek back the Hanged Man. Well, that was fun! He couldn't stop the smile that lit up his face all the way back to the Hanged Man. When he stepped into Varric's room Fenris had left and Varric was writing once again. He looked up as Ike entered and waved.

"Something I can do for you?" he asked.

"I have no idea which room is Hawke's," Ike sheepishly replied. Varric let out a short laugh.

"Ah, yes, that would be a problem, wouldn't it? I'll show you to it." He got up and gestured for Ike to follow as they walked through the Hanged Man. They stopped in front of a wooden door that conveniently happened to be right next door to Varric's. "Here we are. Sweet dreams," he said, waving as he made his way back to his own room. Ike turned his attention to the door. He reached a hand for the handle and tried opening it. Locked, of course it was. He started patting himself in search of the key. _If I was a key, where would I be?_ Eventually his hand fell to a pouch secured at his waist. That was there the whole time? Inside he found a journal, a few red bottles that he assumed were health poultices, some coin, and two keys. _Bingo was his name-o._ He grabbed the first key and pressed it in the lock. It let out a click and swung open. First try! Damn, he was good. He stepped into the room and locked the door behind him before looking around.

There was a writing desk that was littered with paper and writing utensils. There was a decently sized bed that didn't look like it would be _too_ itchy. Next was a fireplace, a table with a set of chairs, and a chest that apparently had all of Hawke's expedition money. Ike made his way over there first and used the other key to open it. Inside was some gold that Ike immediately begun counting. Forty sovereigns. Close, but no cigar. Tomorrow Ike would look into Hawke's journal and see how he would earn more money. But for now, he was tired and ready to sleep. He set his sword against the wall and took off his armor. Man this stuff is more complicated than it looked. After a long battle, Ike managed to get his armor off. He took off his shirt and threw it in a corner, forgetting about it as he climbed into bed. He couldn't stop the last smile that grew on his face before he fell asleep. He was excited to see what tomorrow would hold.

It was a beautiful morning in Kirkwall. The birds were chirping. Somebody had gotten mugged. A blood mage was on the loose.

And Fenris had just knocked Ike on his ass for the seventh time.

" _Damnit!_ " Ike yelled as he rose from the ground, collecting his sword that had fallen out of his grasp. Fenris stood a short distance away, leaning on his own sword and looking far too pleased with himself. Ike shot him a glare that he hoped conveyed all of his mounting annoyance and frustration. "I hate you," he muttered darkly. Fenris, the little shit, just laughed.

"Your stance is all wrong," he drawled, "You need to stand like this." Fenris demonstrated the proper technique and Ike dutifully followed along. "Better," Fenris said, "Let's spar one more time. These techniques need to become second nature." Ike nodded his head, resigned. He fell into the proper stance this time and he and Fenris clashed. Sweat rolled off their bodies as they swung their blades furiously. Ike thought that he was holding his own when he suddenly found himself on the floor again. Fenris, the smug bastard, stood over Ike with a small smile on his face. "You lasted twenty seconds that time," he said, "A new record."

Yes, it was a beautiful morning indeed.

It had been an eventful day. According to Hawke's journal, he had been out on the Wounded Coast clearing out the final Flint Company mercenary band when the whole mind transfer incident happened. Ike had made sure to give Sebastian the good news at the chantry. Sebastian was thankful that the mercenaries had been wiped out and had promised to reward Ike royally, pun incredibly intended, when he acquired his lands.

Ike and company had also trudged down the Wounded Coast to deal with the letter that Thrask had sent Hawke. Anders and Fenris bickered the entire way while Merrill and Ike quietly mocked them and giggled like a couple of school girls. The group had fought their way through the cave, killed the leader, and then killed a corrupted group of templars because Ike refused to give the mages to their custody. These templars embodied everything about the order that definitely needed to change. Ike had held his own in battle for the most part, getting knocked around by Fenris had definitely helped. Speaking of Fenris, it was amazing how he could continue to bicker with Anders even while fighting against a blood mage and surrounded by undead corpses. It was a special skill, really, he should add it to a resume.

Another thing that Ike had never really thought about while playing Dragon Age was all the walking these people did. They had to trudge all the way out of the city and down the coast, engage in rigorous physical activity, and trudge all the way back. So saying that Ike was tired was an understatement.

He was walking through Lowtown with the group, ready to collapse at the Hanged Man when he suddenly became very much awake. Shopping in the Lowtown Bazaar was none other than Bethany, the sister of the person whom's body Ike had stolen. He made a small noise of panic as his gaze landed on Bethany. The party all looked at Ike with strange expressions on their face and followed his gaze to the source of his agitation.

"Oh," Merrill said softly, suddenly realizing why Ike looked ready to bolt at any second. Maybe Bethany wouldn't notice the group? Maybe if they acted casual they could get the Hanged Man without her ever noticing. Just act casual, everything will end perfectly.

Or she could turn her head and stare straight at Ike. Wonderful.

When she caught sight of Ike she ran over with a smile and a wave. "Brother! It's good to see you! You never come home anymore," she said. She really did look pleased to see him. Guess even if Hawke was an incredible asshole his family still loved him. He glanced around at his assembled companions looking for some sort of assistance. Anders and Merrill both suddenly became very interested in the ground, the dirty traitors. Fenris, though, looked impatient and stepped forward.

"There is unknown magic afoot here. The man you see before you is no longer your brother. He woke up inside of Hawke's body on the Wounded Coast," Fenris drawled. Ike would have personally approached the subject with a bit more tact, but he guessed Fenris' way would suffice. Bethany, of course, looked skeptical.

"It's true! He feels entirely different from Hawke, you can see for yourself. Anders thought he was a demon at first, but I checked and he wasn't! He's turned out to be a really nice guy so far, he even walked me home!" Oh, sweet Merrill. Ike knew you wouldn't abandon him. Bethany looked hesitant as she stepped towards Ike and reached out to him with her magic. She closed her eyes and a breath later she gasped and jumped back, looking shaken.

"I-It's true!" she gasped, "What sort of magic is this?"

"We don't know." It was Anders who answered her this time. Bethany was quiet for a short time before she looked up towards Ike.

"So this means, my brother is… gone?" she asked, sounding resigned. Ike just stood silent and nodded slowly.

"I'm sorry," he added quietly, almost at a whisper. Bethany said nothing and stared at the ground. She spoke up after a short time.

"I guess I should inform mother," she whispered dejectedly before practically turning and sprinting in the other direction. Ike and the crew stood silently before Ike ran a hand through his hair and sighed loudly.

"Well, that went well," he said, voice dripping with so much sarcasm he could fill a cup and drink it. He shook his head silently before continuing on. "Let's just get home, I wanna sit down." He was already walking, without waiting for a response. He marched through the front doors of the Hanged Man and straight into Varric's suite. He sat at the table, closed his eyes, and rested his head on it using his arms as pillows. He heard the rest of the group pad into the room and take their own seats around the table.

Remeber when Ike said that he didn't feel bad for taking over Hawke's body? Well that was before he remembered that Hawke had a family that was understandably not happy about his sudden absence. When Hawke got back from the expedition he was supposed to get the Amell Manor for his family. What the hell would happen now that Ike was here? These people weren't his family, they were Hawke's. He guessed that he could buy the manor for them when he got back from the expedition, but he really didn't want to do that. These people were strangers to Ike.

Ike was startled out of his thoughts when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He lifted his head to find none other than Merrill smiling softly at him. "It's not your fault," she said, "You didn't choose to come here." Ike was surprised. How did she know what he was thinking? Guess she really must be more observant than he thought. That or Ike was incredibly obvious, one of the two. After a moment a small smile appeared on Ike's face.

"Thanks," was all he said. Leave it to Merrill to cheer him up. At the other side of the table Varric pulled out a deck of cards from seemingly nowhere and shot Ike a grin.

"How about we teach you to play Diamondback?" he asked. Ike just groaned. He really didn't want to lose all the money he just earned.

Varric was a damned dirty cheater.

That was the one thing that he had learned from Diamondback. You'd think Varric would go easy on the guy from an entirely different world, but no, Ike got _zero_ mercy. Fenris and Anders joined in after a while and everybody combined forces to make sure that Ike never played that damn game again. This was the only time Ike had ever seen Fenris and Anders willingly cooperate. It would've been a beautiful thing had Ike not been a half second away from pulling out his sword and slicing the table in half. Ike didn't think that he had one a single hand yet and his patience was running thin. He was using all of his willpower to keep himself from running over and ripping off Varric's jacket to find all the cards he probably had hidden up his sleeves right at this very moment. Eventually he slammed his cards down on the table and crossed his arms over his chest.

"You're all a bunch of dirty cheaters. I quit," he grumbled irritably. The whole table laughed at his expense looking far more pleased with themselves than Ike would like. Merrill seemed to be the only person with a soul as she placed a consoling hand on his shoulder.

"If it makes you feel better, I'm not very good at this game either," she told Ike. Huh, strange, it did make him feel better. Anders was the first person to leave the Hanged Man, he had a clinic to run and all. Soon Merrill also stood up to leave and our brave hero stood with her. She looked slightly surprised when he stood up.

"I meant what I said," was the only explanation he gave. Varric looked on from the table and watched the two with interest. Merrill's face got a bit red and she nodded before turning to leave the room, Ike trailing dutifully behind her. Varric couldn't resist that satisfied smile that appeared on his face as he reached for a new parchment and a writing utensil. Those two obviously had a thing going on.

He was interested to see how it would play out.

The trip to Merrill's house had been uneventful. Guess Ike had succeeded in scaring off the Three Stooges. Merrill still drew a few looks that Ike wasn't particularly fond of, but he couldn't go around Kirkwall stabbing anybody who looked at Merrill. The duo had arrived safely and undisturbed at Merrill's house and currently stood outside the door. Merrill turned to look at Ike and seemed indecisive before she rushed forward and planted a kiss on his cheek. She stepped back and stared at Ike, her face glowing red. Ike stood dumbfounded, he had _not_ expected that. Merrill disappeared into her house with a quick call of, "Goodnight!"

Ike stood outside her door for a few seconds with his eyes wide. He slowly raised his hand to touch the spot that she had kissed. He just shook his head in exasperation as he made his way back to the Hanged Man for the night.

He later denied the stupid grin that eyewitnesses recounted seeing plastered to his face.


End file.
